Just minutes before Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed a bill into law Thursday that allows businesses in his state to discriminate against gay customers, the governor quickly added the words “Jews and Arab-looking people” to the bill as well.
“Look, it’s not like we’re discriminating against blacks or those Mexicans, it’s just Jews and Arab-looking folks,” a Pence spokesperson told the few people in attendance at the private signing ceremony. “We have a lot of blacks in this state, so refusing their business would hurt our businesses. Same goes for the Mexicans. I understand many of us don’t like them, but they contribute to our economy. But we don’t have many Jews or Arabs, so it won’t make a difference.”
The Pence spokesperson added that enforcing the new law does come with challenges.
“This is not going to be easy. The gays are not always easy to spot, especially if they’re walking around alone,” he said. “And the Arabs look kinda like Mexicans and some of those Israelis do too, and we’re telling businesses they can’t discriminate against Mexicans, but they can against Jews and Arabs, so it’s going to be difficult.”
The Pence spokesperson said businesses will have to make a judgement call on “who is what,” and the state plans to provide some guidelines to help identify individuals.
“Some things are fairly obvious,” he said. “For example, a Mexican may look like he just got off work at a restaurant or landscaping and will look poor, while the Jew or Arab will be wearing gold jewelry and seemingly have a lot of money — though the Jews will try not to spend it.”
As for identifying “the gays,” he said, “take a look at their bumper stickers. They like to show their gayness to try to convert us. Also, in their appearance, the lesbians will have short hair and act cocky, and the men will look very fashionable and fit, usually.”